I think of you and let it go.... Ok, so I got back from Spider-Man, and it's wonderful. I was really surprised. Not by just the movie, but by how I felt afterwards. Is it bad that I walked away from a film feeling more in tuned with myself, feeling determined, like I want to be a better person? It's like a peaceful sleep...it's hard to explain. I guess the best description that comes to mind is love. I feel happy, hopeful, determined, relaxed, calm. There is a little sadness, though, and I guess that comes with having no one to spend it with. Chris would rather be with a girl who is going to leave him sometime, and I'm hoping he won't fall too hard; Aaron is keeping his distance from Tucson, both physically and emotionally; and sadly, my usual pal on the metaphysical matters, Andrea, just seems to be too busy lately. Times like this I wish I could transfer my thoughts into other people so they can really get to know me--to see me at my best, like now.
However, it also reminded me that I really want to work out. I mean, hell, if Toby Maguire can do it, so can I. I will start this summer, with or without Chris, who goes along with any good idea until he finds something better. I'll start slow, and try to do this right. I've felt fat all my life (thanks to my dad for taking those pictures of me eating all the time) and for once, I think I've got a chance to be someone I feel proud of on the outside. Besides, I think getting out and doing something will help cure the yipping hall that is my mind. The devil finds work for idle hands, the same could be said for my idle brain. So, at any rate. Start slow, go once a week, and gradually work up to three times a week. I don't see myself jogging around the subdivision just yet...but there is always a first time for everything.
